It’s our choice.
Let’s be honest. Life is neither smooth nor without rugged terrains. You are not lucky, so does anyone else.
It’s bittersweet.
We all have our partners, children, families, friends, coworkers, and the societies we live in to deal with.
Societies often throws images of what life should be like in our face. We are told we need to live up to certain expectations. Or even tread the mainstream path simply because those who went before us and have attained success, of which the wider society presumes to be, is numerous. But remember to ask yourself: Does it really suit me?
If the answer is a negative, you may need to rethink your life’s grand plan.
And you have been missing something really important: you have been outsourcing your decision-making ability to others.
It is a truism that life is remorseless and finite. Yet why feign a life that is not ours? A philosopher once reasoned it is due to our laziness. To be yourself is tiring, daunting; with the masses is effortless and riskless. We need to confront avalanches of savage popular opinion, envy and this requires great tenacity.
The onus is on us to not allow our minds being colonised. At the same time, we lose our individual identities as our ability to reason perishes. We surrender our independent mindset in favour of comfort, if not avoiding suffering. Ironically, overcoming life’s challenges and deciding a future for ourselves, while painful, grow us mentally and stretch our cognitive dexterity.
The lives we are leading would be hollow and meaningless should we conform to others mindlessly since we are merely checking off tasks we have been assigned to complete and being constricted to limited possibilities.
Moreover, most of the dying are regretful for not truly taking their destinies into their own hands.
How do we respond to the flak drawn by our actions even though we know they suit us best?
The key is to act on what you have control over.
Nobody has jurisdiction over others’ right to criticise or laugh at him, but only his thoughts.
If you are doing something impactful, those who dismiss your actions will pay for their ignorance one day.
As you look back from the future, those who belittled you would still remain as spectators; they have never had the opportunity to take centre stage.
To allay your fears about life, we could turn to the ancient Chinese sage Lao Tzu’s words:
故飘风不终朝，骤雨不终日。
A gale cannot blow for the whole morning; a rainstorm cannot last for the whole day.
Good and bad times are impermanent.
Millennia ago, Buddha concluded that life’s suffering arises from our relentless pursuit of fleeting feelings. While we fear our pleasant feelings would disappear, we also hope the joy we experience to intensify. The only way to liberate ourselves from suffering is to not crave for such feelings.
Even if you are not on bumpy roads, do not be overjoyed.
祸兮，福之所倚；福兮，祸之所伏。
Calamity is what blessings depend upon; in blessings there hides the calamity.
— Lao Tzu
Always experience the reality as it is.
So if you have been down lately or are feeling foggy, you can cry, take a break, pause for a while. But you must never allow yourself to rot. On the contrary, try to get back on your feet.
Because you and I know it is not the time for you to put a period.
It would be great if you could spare a few minutes to watch the video below.
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